Men Are Happier People

Nicknames 
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah . If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other As Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

Eating Out
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural 
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Offspring 
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought For The Day
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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