Cruising

(This can't be true - can it?)

About 2 years ago a couple were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard one of the P&O liners.

At dinner they noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. They also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc, all seemed very familiar with this lady.

They asked the waiter whom the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back-to-back.

As they left the dining room one evening my friend caught her eye and stopped to say hello. They chatted and he said, 'I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises." She replied, 'Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, 'It's cheaper than a nursing home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a P&O Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is £700.00 per week. I checked on reservations with P&O Cruises and I can get a long-term discount and a senior citizen discount price of £580.00 per week.

That leaves £120.00 a week for:

• Gratuities will be £10.00 per week.
• I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week.
• P&O liners have as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
• They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
• They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra £5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
• I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
• TV broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologise for your inconvenience.
• Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on NHS; if you fall and break a hip on the P&O ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?

P&O will have a ship ready to go. So I don't wait for relatives to come and take me out, so don't come looking for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.