Through The Eyes Of A Child

• On the first day of school, a new pupil handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
  
  

• A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mummy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
  
  

• While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a policeman?"  "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
  
  

• It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my police dog Jake started barking from inside the van.  I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied.  Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
  
  

• A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her Dad donning his dinner jacket, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."  "And why not, darling?"  "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
  
  

• While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they found a small box and then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. 

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with great dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:

"Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes."

• A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"
  
  

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