Seven Reasons Not To Mess With Children
Reason 1
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human, because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The
little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated,
the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The
teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The
little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Reason 2
A
Nursery teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were
drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As
she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.
The
girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without
missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."
Reason
3
A
Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour"
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without
missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Reason 4
One
day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She
looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mum?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time
that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs
turns white."
The
little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Mum, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?"
Reason 5
The
children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade
them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just
think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'
A
small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher, she's dead."
Reason 6
A
teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it and I would turn red in
the face."
"Yes,"
the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A
little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet aren't empty."
Reason 7
The
children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note and posted on the apple tray: "Take only one. God
is watching."
Moving
further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large
pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A
child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples".
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